Space to Love Myself

I need space

and time to heal all

my self-destructive decisions

of the past, not so long ago.

I’ve helped everyone else,

It’s time I help myself.

 

I’ve been lost and detached from that

girl who is alive, she smiled, laughed and had a sparkle in her eyes

It’s been many years, I am ready to go find her again.

 

You helped me smile again.

Thank you for your kindness.

Truth is, I fell in love with you.

 

That winter morning in my room, we held each other

like we were holding onto something real, tangible

I felt trust, and nothing

else mattered in that moment.

 

Truth is, I love you, for you.

Unconditionally.

Truth is, I don’t know if you will ever have

the courage to open yourself to love me

and let me in the real you.

 

I am heart-broken.

My heart needs to be band-aided

through laughter, best friends and the ocean.

It’s the only way I know how to forget for a little while.

 

That’s why I need to go.

 

 

The Mannequin

Through the looking glass

my beautiful blue eyes feasted on a

tall white mannequin.

His arms sprouted into the strong branches of steel I needed.

He was decorated in beautiful wings,

half-spanned,

like an accordion of bold colors.

Each fold redirecting

the common passersby from the

delicate nature

of his true being.

 

Perfectly dressed for nowhere.

How tragic that he was made with no eyes to feast on me.