Space to Love Myself

I need space

and time to heal all

my self-destructive decisions

of the past, not so long ago.

I’ve helped everyone else,

It’s time I help myself.

 

I’ve been lost and detached from that

girl who is alive, she smiled, laughed and had a sparkle in her eyes

It’s been many years, I am ready to go find her again.

 

You helped me smile again.

Thank you for your kindness.

Truth is, I fell in love with you.

 

That winter morning in my room, we held each other

like we were holding onto something real, tangible

I felt trust, and nothing

else mattered in that moment.

 

Truth is, I love you, for you.

Unconditionally.

Truth is, I don’t know if you will ever have

the courage to open yourself to love me

and let me in the real you.

 

I am heart-broken.

My heart needs to be band-aided

through laughter, best friends and the ocean.

It’s the only way I know how to forget for a little while.

 

That’s why I need to go.